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wake up dead man
I don't know if I've said this before so I might as well say it now.

I know that my Livejournal is mainly used for posting silly fangirl-y stuff, or ranting, but I just want you guys to know that if you ever want to talk, I'm always here. Always. No matter if it's just venting about something, or if you feel completely hopeless. I genuinely care about every single one of you out there. I don't have all the answers, of course, but I will help you as much as possible, as much as I can. I'd say that I know more about mental illness than the average person, both from research and from personal experience; in fact, I plan to make my career helping people. If nothing else, I can direct you to someone else who can help you better, or just be here to listen.

Anyone can always message me ANYTIME, about anything. It's 100% confidential. I also have Gmail, Yahoo, AIM, etc. if you want to talk to me on there, or ask me for my number and you can text/call me when you want to talk. It can be anonymous if you want. You don't have to give your name or anything.

Please ask for help before doing anything drastic
. Please. I care about you. Your family and friends care about you. We all love you. Get help. It doesn't seem like it right now, but THINGS WILL GET BETTER, I promise. THERE IS HOPE. You DO NOT have to go through hell. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  If this message reaches just one person, and helps them, it will all be worth it. <3

If you don't want to talk to me, or think you need professional help, here are some resources that can help, even if you are not necessarily suicidal or in crisis:

1-800-SUICIDE is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide hotline staffed by professionals that can help.

1-800-273-TALK is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide helpline that can put you through to your local crisis center.

http://www.suicidehotlines.com lists hotlines and helplines for every state in the US, as well as what to expect when calling.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
If you are feeling hopeless, take a few minutes to read this first. It's a helpful website that talks about suicide. I know that I have used it when I was feeling depressed and suicidal, and personally it helped me a lot. It also lists a few resources that you can contact.

http://www.samaritans.org/ - The Samaritans are a 24-hour volunteer organization designed to help people going through any kind of issue, to talk and listen non-judgmentally. They are located in the UK, but anyone can talk to them.

http://www.something-fishy.org/
is a pro-recovery site for those suffering from eating disorders, as well as friends and family members. Provides plenty of help, resources, and support.

1-800-656-HOPE
is a 24-hour, toll-free hotline for sexual assault and rape.

http://helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm
is a comprehensive guide to cutting and other forms of self-harm. It talks about signs and symptoms, tips on how to prevent it, and more.

1-800-799-SAFE is a 24-hour, toll-free hotline for domestic abuse.

http://www.befrienders.org/
provides WORLDWIDE resources for every country, which is helpful if you are located outside of the US.

 

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ The Trevor Project is a project to help LGBT youth and young adults. If you have ever been bullied, or discriminated against, or hated yourself because of your sexuality, The Trevor Project can help. It has live, online chats with volunteers, or you can email them to talk.

 

866-4.U.TREVOR is The Trevor Project's 24-hour lifeline.


(No idea why LJ bolded that whole part, sorry)

Of course, there are many, many, MANY other resources out there. There are broad ones that help everyone, and then ones specified to your problem or your group - for example, survivors of rape, or Spanish-speaking people. No matter what city, state, or country you live in, there is most likely help nearby. NO ONE has to feel alone in this.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED IMMEDIATE HELP, DO NOT HESITATE TO GET IT. IF YOU FEEL LIKE HURTING OR KILLING YOURSELF OR OTHERS, SEEK IMMEDIATE ATTENTION. CALL 911, OR THE EQUIVALENT EMERGENCY NUMBER IN YOUR COUNTRY. GO TO THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM, OR ASK SOMEONE TO DRIVE YOU. THEY CAN HELP.


Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I'm proud of you. DON'T GIVE UP! Help is out there for you! <3

Current Music: The Beatles - We Can Work It Out | Powered by Last.fm

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Title: Hot For Teacher
Author: zoo_baby (that's me!)
Pairing: Will Schuester/Santana Lopez from Glee
Rating: R
Summary: Santana's all about having fun... Who could resist the chance to be the teacher's pet?
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, blah blah blah. I wish I owned Naya Rivera's lebanese boobies.
Author's Note: Ummm... I wrote this a few months before the big Brittana reveal on Glee. hehe. This is part one, part two shall be found whenever I can find the other page. -_- Enjoy?

Santana didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. It was an accident.Collapse )

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Last night was depressing and sad and terrible and full of tears and heartbreak.

This morning, after a good night's sleep and Starbucks, I feel about a thousand times better. Not to mention, it's impossible to be sad while watching Starkid videos and seeing Joey Richter's adorable face and crooked jaw and pelvic thrusts. It's almost as good as being at LeakyCon. Plus I'm going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter next month :3 Not bad, I'd say.

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WOW. Wow. I feel so ridiculous. All this time I thought I was being subtle with my huge gigantic crush on Andrew. I mean, I always tried to control myself around him. I would glance his way all the time smiling and biting my lip, but I tried soooo hard not to make it obvious in the way I talked to him and looked at him. And today we were talking and he said it was actually really obvious. Him and his girlfriend both noticed, but didn't want to bring it up so I wouldn't get embarrassed. Plus, Natalie didn't consider me to be a "threat" to her (gee thanks, princess). Even though he admitted that if I made a move on him back then he would have cheated on her with me, and had actually fantasized about me before when he was with her. Anyway. Good going, 9th grade me. *headdesk*

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Current Music: MC Lars - Hey There Ophelia | Powered by Last.fm

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What is your favorite foreign film? Do you think there should be an American remake?

This is such a cliche answer >.< Amelie, and Kamikaze Girls! And NO. I have no idea why Hollywood doesn't learn from its mistakes. Remakes are almost always terrible.

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I started cleaning my drawers out the other day and found a ton of stuff I wrote, mostly fanfiction written on the back of old worksheets while bored in class. Lol. I feel kind of weird/guilty posting some Will/Santana smut after her being a lesbian. o_O Also there's a ton of RDJ snippets... Some RDJude, some other, and they're all weirdly philosophical and meaningful and somewhat religious (or at least trying to be), but essentially... totally dirty. xD I might get around to posting some of it one of these days. I actually kind of wish I still had my old terrible South Park fanart that I drew when I was ten! (FYI, I shipped Stan/Kyle and Bebe/Wendy religiously. And it was the first porn I ever tried to draw. Awkward and hilarious.)

Goddamn I wrote a lot about Andrew in 9th grade. I was such a creeper face and totally obsessive. But hey!!! Guess what everyone!!! Now we're semi.... together... well... it's complicated. It's kind of bizarre actually. I liked him secretly and watched and waited from a distance for three years, and when I finally started to let it go, thinking there was no way he'd ever like me, he messaged me on Facebook. Probably our first time ever having a real serious conversation. Turned out he had just broken up with his girlfriend of four years and he wanted to talk to someone, and voila I was there. Our timing just matched I guess. After awhile of talking platonically, I finally, finally, finally got to tell him I liked him and confess what I've been dying to for so so long!!! And it felt really good, and maybe we're not in a relationship or anything but the mutual attraction thing is way more than I ever envisioned us having. Aaaaand I am incredibly happy right now. So you never know. Life is just weird that way.

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I just wish that I could be good enough. That I could have someone who genuinely cares me and loves me exactly as I am, flaws and all. I wish I could feel good about myself for ONCE in my life.

Current Music: Spring Awakening - Mama Who Bore Me (Reprise) | Powered by Last.fm

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Are you watching the Super Bowl this year? If not, how will you enjoy the day? If you are watching, how will you be celebrating the game?

Yeah, I will be half-watching it. I couldn't care less about football, but my family supports the Packers so I'll be cheering for them. My mom is super jazzed about it. Mostly, I'm excited for the food hahaha. And for afterwards, when they will be premiering a new episode of GLEE!!!


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Current Music: Glee Cast - Hey, Soul Sister | Powered by Last.fm

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How do you feel about standardized tests? Do you think they accurately indicate a student's knowledge or ability?

Hell no they don't. How can you show everything that you've learned in a whole semester in an eighty-question test? And then they only take select bits of information. In my US History class, we spent two weeks on the Vietnam War, and there was only one question on our exam about it. Some people are good test takers and they slack all year, then cram the night before and get a 98, and others can study really hard all year, but may have test anxiety, or they had a bad day on the day of the test, and they fail. So which one really knew the material better? It's not fair to be teaching material only to know for the test, having the grade weigh so heavily on exams.

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How would you describe your ideal romantic partner in six words?

Cute, fun, ambitious, dorky, intelligent, loving. :)

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